


You'll Be In My Heart

by webeta123



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Angst, Foster Care, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29962917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/webeta123/pseuds/webeta123
Summary: Fostering was hard. There was no two ways around it. You went from a couple to a family of three in the span of about four hours and then just as quickly, things changed.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 10
Kudos: 48





	You'll Be In My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> So this was definitely inspired by the Tarzan soundtrack and it made my heart hurt to think about and write. Fostering is hard guys, it's not something to be taken lightly.

They were never meant to have Caleb forever.

They had decided on respite care when they talked about fostering, not wanting to overwhelm any child with being thrust into the spotlight with their foster parents but also wanting to alleviate some of the strain that the foster system had in New York. They had taken the classes, all of their friend group did the background checks (the person who handed them their fostering paperwork was amused that they were the ones who were getting the background check rather than the other way around), and then it was a matter of waiting. Alex had finished law school at that point and the shelter kept Henry busy on its own. 

The social worker, a lovely woman named Emma, called one night around two AM asking if they could take in an infant, a six month old specifically. They hadn’t signed up for infant care, but how could they say no when this was what they signed up for? At six AM, Emma came through the brownstone’s door with a baby carrier and a stack of paperwork for them to sign. 

Caleb was a loud baby. He cried when he was held, he cried when he was laying down, he cried when he was on his stomach, and he cried when he was in the bath. There hadn’t been a single moment since he arrived in their house that he didn’t cry, it seemed. Henry had called his mother in desperation one night, curled up in the corner of the nursery as Caleb wailed from his crib. “Oh sweetie, he’s overwhelmed.” She told him gently, “Just keep doing what you’re doing, he’ll come around.”

The daycare workers agreed that Caleb had several things to say, to the point that one of their workers would take him into a separate room during nap time to try and soothe him if only so the other babies could sleep. 

They did find one thing that made Caleb happy and they had found it by accident. It was around one AM, Henry had been bouncing Caleb on his hip for a few hours while he hiccupped and cried from exhaustion (the baby, not him, though he had gotten close already). Alex was in the living room, trying to find something that would entertain the now eight month old baby and maybe distract him enough to sleep. He pulled up Disney plus and selected the first movie he could find.  _ Tarzan _ began playing, the familiar sequence of the parents building a treehouse for their little family and Phil Collins’s melodic voice filling the house. Caleb hiccupped a few more times, his little face buried in Henry’s neck, and he stopped crying to listen. Henry looked at Alex in amazement, Alex sharing a look of shock. Henry cautiously sat down on the couch with Caleb on his chest, the baby’s eyelids finally starting to grow heavy and then slide closed right around the Son of Man sequence. Henry was sure his heart would beat out of his chest in amazement and love for this little one, no matter how exhausted he was. Alex pressed a kiss to Caleb’s head, both of them laughing softly in what bordered on hysteria. 

Alex wanted to experiment with other movies after the first week, if only for the fact that they never allowed the movie to get far past Jane’s introduction since they didn’t know how the Trashing the Camp sequence would affect Caleb. “We can play it to that point every hour on the hour if we have to if it makes him happy.” Henry stressed, the sweet relief of being able to sleep for four hours at a time for the first time since Caleb came into their lives nearly overwhelming him. He knew Alex had taken to sleeping in his office at work or on the plane to a meeting with his mom, thankfully both places were understanding of where they were. Leo teased them that they would miss this time someday. Henry just wanted the sleep regression to be over.

They found out that Caleb apparently had a soft spot for the classics along with Tarzan. Tummy time went by without a single sniffle with Snow White, he bounced in his bouncing chair to Cinderella’s working song as if on beat, and nap time went easily with Fantasia (both renditions). They tested some of the Renaissance movies, if only so Alex could get Snow White’s song out of his head, but the moment Caleb’s face screwed up in a warning sign of tears at the opening sequence of  _ The Little Mermaid _ , Alex put Dumbo back on and held up his hands as though it were a hostage situation.

“He likes the older princesses but not the newer ones, the hell?” Alex said one night after another movie marathon. They didn’t necessarily let Caleb watch the movie since they didn’t want to ruin his eyes, but they did let it play while he focused on other things, primarily David or the Cheerios that he carefully picked up from his little table and shoved into his mouth. They had tested Frozen that evening when both of them had picked him up from daycare and Caleb threw his Cheerios at the screen for several minutes, babbling angrily until Henry came in to find out what the problem was. David was just happy to eat the snacks. 

“I don’t care.” Henry said, pressing both hands into his eyes as he laid flat on the bed. “He has a very specific taste and if it keeps him happy, he can criticize Idina Menzel’s singing for the rest of time.” 

“Hopefully he’ll grow in that taste.” Alex said, “Maybe we should have introduced him to Wicked first.” He said contemplatively.   
  


“Pez tried, he said Caleb threw his teething ring at him.” Henry said, smiling at the memory of indignation on Pez’s face. After a few more minutes of vigorous rubbing at his eyes, he blinked his eyes open to see Alex laying on his side facing him with a soft smile on his face. “What?” 

“Has it gotten easier?” He asked lightly. Henry opened his mouth to say ‘no’ but the more he thought about it, the more he realized it had. They had established a routine within the past few months. Alex took him to daycare on his way to work, both of them picked him up at the end of the day, then a Disney movie while they cooked (usually Alex cooked but Henry was there with an extra set of hands), dinner, bathtime, then bedtime at 7:30 which left plenty of time for Henry and Alex to catch up on work. 

Sometimes that routine got changed with the meetings with Emma or the visitations that more often than not got cancelled at the last moment but they were nothing if not consistent. 

“I… think it has.” Henry admitted. “Is this what experience feels like?” 

"I think we just know this kid now. Or at least, baby him." Alex said with a small grin. Henry glanced to the video baby monitor and saw that Caleb had rolled onto his side but was still fast asleep with the instrumental for Dumbo tinny over the speaker. He huffed softly, smiling.

"I hope we get to know more about him as he grows." Henry said softly, watching as Caleb breathed and mouthed at nothing. 

"I do too." Alex said, wrapping his arms around Henry's chest from behind and tugging him back away from the baby monitor. Henry looked over his shoulder at Alex, who had a devilish smile on his face and a raised eyebrow. 

"You're the reason there are Irish twins in the world." Henry told him breathlessly, flipping over so that he could kiss him.

"At least we don't have to worry about all that." Alex told him against his neck, finding a patch of skin and worrying it with his teeth. 

Afterwards, once Henry got a shower and Alex got a fresh set of pajamas that weren't wet with sweat and their come, they settled back in bed with Henry laying on Alex's chest. "Any word about Caleb's bio father?" Henry asked lightly.

Caleb's mother had given up her rights around the three month mark of their fostering, continually falling behind on the standards that DCS placed on her. She did give the father's name but if he was in the New York area, he was good at hiding. Henry knew it was mean to think, but he hoped he kept hiding. They knew that once they hit the eighteen month mark of Caleb being in their home they could petition to adopt. They were approaching Caleb's first birthday already, only a year to go. Henry thought it would be lovely to line up Caleb's second birthday with his adoption day.

"They're still looking but apparently they contacted his parents about Caleb." Alex went quiet and Henry looked up at him in alarm, "They want to petition for Caleb to go to them." 

"What?" Henry demanded, going up onto an elbow. "They can't be serious."

"According to New York law, grandparents have a right to visitation and custody if the situation permits it." Alex told him, clearly quoting something he had read. 

"'If this situation permits it' what does that mean?" Henry asked, sitting up the same time Alex did. Alex turned so that he was sitting on his knees. Henry saw how exhausted he was, even with Caleb finally sleeping through the night they had a long way to go until it was consistent. Henry mirrored Alex, who gave him a heartbroken look.

"They're his biological grandparents, Hen. They have more rights than we do in this situation."

"But we've had him for the past six months! Their… their deadbeat of a son didn't even tell them about Caleb until DCS came knocking! How is that fair?" Henry yelled. "How is that right?" He felt his voice crack on the word 'right'. 

"It's not right but it's the law, baby."

"Fuck the law!" Henry bellowed, turning and punching his pillow into the mattress. "He doesn't know anyone beyond us as his parents, Alex. They didn't stay up all hours of the night, they don't change the diapers, they don't know his favorite snacks, we do!"

"The state doesn't care about all that." Alex said, "All they see is a willing part of Caleb's biological family in the New York area."

"Where do they even live?"

"Up in Albany." Henry wanted to say something nasty, but all he could think about was once Caleb was gone, they would likely never see him again. Henry felt tears prick in his eyes.

"How soon?"

"Emma didn't say, she just sent me a short little email about it earlier." Alex grabbed his phone to show him.

REGARDING CALEB CARTER

From: emma.short@ny.dcs.gov

To: alexander.claremont-diaz@martinlaw.com

Good evening,

I don’t expect a response to this but you did request any updates as soon as possible. Caleb's biological grandparents are planning to put in their petition on Monday. 

Thanks,

Emma

"Monday?" Henry whispered, "But that's-"

"Happy birthday, Caleb." Alex muttered as he took his phone back and put it on his nightstand. Henry gave an incredulous laugh. 

They had planned a quiet birthday party for him, a Tarzan themed party after the movie that helped him sleep that fateful night. Nora ran numbers with Alex, the likelihood that the petition for the grandparents to foster actually going through. Pez was entertaining Caleb with bubbles, the bubbles popping bringing a fresh wave of giggles from the baby. It seemed being on a schedule helped bring out Caleb's joy rather than the tears that had plagued him. Henry focused on taking pictures. Alex's face in the setting sunlight, June mid-bite of cake, Caleb's bright eyes. He was lining up a shot of everyone, Alex holding Caleb with a tight smile, when his phone rang and Emma's caller ID filled the frame. "Sorry, one second." 

"Hello, Henry?" 

"Yes?"

"Hi, this is about Caleb. The foster change petition went through today for his grandparents. I just wanted to let you know I'll be coming to get Caleb in the morning." Henry heard her continue saying things, important things that he was sure he needed to remember, but with a,

"Alright, would you mind sending that to me and Alex in an email? We were celebrating Caleb's birthday." He cut her off. His ears were already ringing. Were they really going to lose him so soon?

"Oh I'm sorry! Absolutely, I will send that right over. Thank you so much for everything you've done for him."

"Good night." Henry said, feeling slightly underwater as he disconnected and looked to their friends. He gave Alex a single nod at the concerned tilt of his head. He saw Alex hug Caleb a little tighter, a look of heartbreak etched onto his face. Caleb squirmed, babbling,

"Papi Ah! Papi Ah! Down! Down!" Alex set Caleb at his feet as Henry slowly walked towards them, feeling the mood shift from cautious celebration to pure melancholy. He wanted to be alone, he wanted to be with Alex, he wanted to be with his friends, he wanted to take Caleb and run to Texas or California where there were no grandparents who stole your child. He heard June gasp quietly and saw Pez whip out his phone from the corner of his eye.

"Henry, stop." Pez said, "Look." Henry looked down and saw Caleb balancing on his feet in front of Alex, holding his arms out at his sides for a few moments before looking to Henry with deep brown eyes. He reached out to him and started toddling forward, his footsteps uneven and like a drunken teenager, but dammit he was walking. Henry choked on a breath as he dropped to his knees, holding his arms out for his son to run into. He cradled Caleb's head against his shoulder as he cried, pressing kisses to his wild curls as Caleb babbled,

"Dada Ha, Dada Ha." 

The party dissolved after that, Henry's phone pinging with the video that Pez took before they left them alone. Alex took care of Caleb's evening routine while Henry looked around the nursery, trying to figure out what he was meant to pack. 

They had decided to decorate the room in greys and yellows, tasteful and gender neutral. Caleb's crib that they had gotten on a three AM trip to Target had to stay, didn't it? He looked through the closet of clothes, unsure of what to send. He packed the little neon green bubble coat for winter and Caleb's favorite t-shirt that had Cinderella on the front. He packed his second favorite toy, a stuffed panda they had gotten at the zoo, and decided to leave out his mouse toy. He couldn't sleep without his mousey. He packed up his tennis shoes that he never kept on and his socks that somehow always got lost. By the time Alex came in with Caleb wrapped up in a towel, Henry was sobbing over the duffel bag. "Baby, you got a good start. We can finish in the morning." Alex whispered once he put Caleb in a fresh diaper and his blue footie pajamas. He set Caleb in the crib and handed him his mousey but Henry took him back out and hugged him close, tears still streaming down his face. "Henry-"

"Alex, I held him like this for the past six months, let me have tonight." He said with tears clogging his throat. He could see tears going down Alex's face in the light of the night light that was shaped like a moon. Alex nodded slowly, kneeling on the ground and focusing on the duffel bag while Henry sat in the rocking chair and set him and Caleb in motion. Caleb was clearly tuckered out after seeing everyone, his eyes already sliding closed in the light of the setting sun. 

"You'll be in my heart…" Henry whispered softly, his voice barely keeping the tune as it kept cracking, "Yes, you'll be in my heart, from this day on… now and… forever more." He saw Alex curl over the duffel bag, soft crying coming from that part of the room. "Don't listen to them… cause what do they know…" He made it through that stanza and another chorus before he looked down and saw that Caleb was fast asleep, his head tilted back and his mouth open. Henry wiped at his eyes, his throat still scratchy from crying, as he stood and put Caleb back in his crib. Alex had put a few more of Caleb's clothes in the duffel bag but a few of them had been taken out and were on the floor beside it. 

"I…" Alex shook his head, putting the clothes back in. Both of them stood and went to bed, exhausted for the day ahead.

Henry was proud of not crying as he watched Caleb's grandparents, a lovely couple in their fifties who were just thrilled that their grandson was taken care of by royalty and the equivalent of American royalty, pack Caleb into their car at the visitation center. The grandmother swore that of course they could come visit their farm, it would be a nice change of pace from the big city, but the grandfather whispered something and the grandmother gave a tight smile that didn't reach her eyes. Alex slowly walked beside the car as it drove away, stopping at the edge of the sidewalk as he watched the Carters make their way into New York traffic. He kept watching until they made it through the last red light and turned out of sight. 


End file.
